The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
