I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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