No stitches, just platelets and will power
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
