I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
