David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
