i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
