Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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