Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
