i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
