oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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