if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do herpes really smell.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
