Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
