So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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