sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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