people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
