He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
