I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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