Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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