The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you win again, gameday.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
