dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
