Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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