no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I just shit out all my problems.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
