Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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