I don't think brook has ever known best
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
