We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
