it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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