Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
