Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
