Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
