look no pants
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
