naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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