its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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