Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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