I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
