she is the kim kardashian of front butts
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
