I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I believe in your delicious
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
