he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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