sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
