ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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