just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
3 2 1 whiskey
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i need some magic done to my vagina
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
