DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
