Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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