Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
