i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
