Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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