...so i touched it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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