are you so shy because you have an std?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
