We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
