I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
