We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
3 2 1 whiskey
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
