Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
