Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
