R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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